Inside the park, your reality is manipulated by the environment, but in Port Distortion – Fauxtopia’s nighttime entertainment district– it’s what goes inside you that causes you to question your reality. Just twelve steps and a Booze Cruise away, you’ll discover a variety of shops and nightclubs that offer potions, pill and powders to drink, swallow and snort.
This is a place designed for adults – and those with fake a fake IDs. Alcohol and other controlled substances allow for “reality” to be recreated in a guest’s own mind. You'll think you are sexier, wittier and a helluva lot more charming than you really are. And those around you will get prettier and friendlier too! And tasty too!
Kick-off the evening at The Pink Elephant restaurant with a specialty cocktail, or indulge your “inner bro” at the nightly beer-bust at the QED Frat House. Next, roll into Molly’s Dance Hall, or mellow-out by enjoying common household appliances come to life at The Mushroomery. For a more illuminating thrill, venture into the Crack House, or the Ayahuasca Hut. Finally, wind-down your night at Le Lotus Bleu Opium Den, to lose just a few hours…days…or a lifetime.
Lyin' Country Safari
Fauxtopia’s premier resort, Lyin’ Country Safari, lets you be the adventurer who goes after the big game: coming home with the best stories of your trip. You can indulge in luxurious accommodations in the Multiple Stories Lodge, or camp out in Tall Tale Woods on the bank of Big Fish Lake. Daily seminars and classes such as, “Avoiding Libelous Accusations by Employing Hearsay” and “Using Social Media as a Weapon” are offered at the Institute led by notorious raconteurs. Every night you will get to practice your storytelling skills around the campfire with a group of folks just like yourself, eager to learn “The Craft of Fauxbricating”.
McMansion Acres
​Someone once said that Gothic architecture created after the 1400s was vulgar. But that’s just not so at McMansion Acres —a planned community where Fauxbricators improve upon the housing structures of the past. Modern materials are used to simulate characteristic architectural details, from Tudor Cottages to Dutch Colonials, so that they seem “just like the real thing”. These “Duplitecture” homes are painted in authentic reproduction colors appropriate to the style of each home, and landscaped in a variety, if not accurate, traditional ways. This neighborhood is an enclave of the best taste money can buy.
Merchantainment Mall
It’s more fun to spend money when you get a little extra with it —like ambience and a story! At the Merchantainment Mall, you can find all those things you need, and want, but in a setting of whimsy and guile. Here, “fantasy worlds” mix with “modern commerce”. Buying housewares is a delight when done in a Fairy Tale Castle. Pick-up fishing and hunting gear at the Great Outdoors Indoors store. And the kids will love our Big Pyramid of Toys!
“Things get scary. But that’s why it’s important to remember, you’re high.
It’s not reality.”
-- Natasha Lyonne
American Actor and Drug User c. 2020
